I love you even though it’s hard.
I was enjoy every second I spend with you. With you, though not for long, I found myself.
“For you.”
I smiled after giving you a packet of sausage filled croissants and a bottle of coffee. You took it carefully,
“Why?”
I shook my head, then smiled again. I’m always cheerful when I’m near him.
“Nothing. Just accidentally buy it for you, lol.”
I said, lying. I actually bought it from where I work.
I don’t know why, but when I was baking that croissant, it always crossed my mind.
After that, we both rode his motorcycles and headed home.
The night on my city was so cold, so I hugged him. He didn’t mind, the streets were dark too. I’m afraid to fall.
After escorting me to the front door, he smiled and thanked me.
“Oh, no. I should be the one thanking you for being invited. Thank you, dear.”
I muttered. He nodded and let me in. After that I disappeared from behind the door.
Not even half an hour apart, there was another knock on my door.
I was very happy when I met him there. Stand up straight with an Indomaret crackle bag in his hand.
“I saw your snapgram, you said you wanted noodles. It has chili powder and milk too. After eating, please go to sleep, tomorrow I will pick you up when you’re ready to go to work.”
That’s it, just a simple visit and then you’re gone as fast as lightning.
I gulped my saliva and squeezed the crackle bag earlier.
Happy. Happy. Happy. I like it. I love it. Really. I am really happy.
Not because of the noodles, of course. I just forgot since when he became that handsome in my eyes. I’m just wondering since when did I get this happy when I saw his face. I think I was in love by then. It’s possible, I just didn’t notice it until the next hundred days.
Time flies and we are still here. Without clarity. Sometimes you call me, like,
“Are you free? Wanna hangout?”
Or sometimes I call you,
“Where? Being busy?”
Even though our conversation was short, my feelings never changed.
If we pass each other, my heart is still cheerful.
How many slices do you want, ma’am?”
I even remember the voice of food seller that afternoon I came with you that afternoon at the traditional market. I turned,
“How much do you want?”
And he smiled gently,
“How much do you want? Just take what you want, and let buy chicken after this” The seller smiled and asked me,
“Your boyfriend is really nice.”
I chuckled. Xixi. Boyfriend. I like hearing it. I see from the corner of my eye, you are also smiling while watching my sparkling eyes.
The afternoon where he confess his feelings is the best afternoon of the year.
The day I was finally relieved, that I hadn’t misunderstood all this time.
I really like you, and you either.
But on the same day, after taking me flying into the sky, he pushed me down deep into the ground.
I looked down at the toe of my shoe. My eyes are teary, he raise his hand and put it on my head.
Gently stroked it, parting my bangs.
“Don’t cry. You are a big girl.”
His voice is hoarse. I took a deep breath,
“Can’t adults cry when their heart is broken?”
I looked into his eyes. He touched the cold skin of my right cheek, stroking it. Then kiss my forehead.
It wasn’t even five seconds, but I felt like I was frozen and frozen.
Please time stop here.
Please, why is my love was always wrong?
Please give me a chance.
Finally the drops from the corner of my eye fell. He quickly erased it and took my hand.
“We can still meet. So please make this a little easier. Please cooperate. The important thing is that you know I love you. And love doesn’t have to be the same. You have to move on. You also have to be willing, because the universe only makes us fall in love, but God doesn’t approve of that. Falling in love doesn’t have to be together. I’m relieved that I didn’t fall in love alone. But, you have to be happy. If you still remember me, how can you be happy?”
I don’t want to hear it. Too difficult. Too hard I buried my head in his chest and cried all I wanted. Several times until I realized, this is not true. But, I love him so much. Very. Very very much.
It’s okay now, one day in the next life,
I promise you will be mine.
I’m sure we’ll be together.
I’ll be patiently waiting for that time to come.
If not,
Let me.
I’ll take you to next life, soon.
- I smirk meaningfully.
