I lay my head down on the dark brown desk. The tip of the white veil I was wearing was out of shape, messy.
My eyes are puffy and I close them tightly. It’s messed up, my heart’s a mess.
“Nasya …”
Dian exclaimed, startling me. I glanced at my friend for a moment.
“I’ll go home. See you at class tomorrow.!”
She muttered, reaching for her backpack that had been sitting next to my chair.
I nodded, then limply reached for my cell phone which hasn’t ringing since this morning.
The class is empty now.
On my cell phone, I searched for my father’s contact, trying to reach him.
“The number that you’re calling is busy.”
The operator’s voice was heard from the other side, replacing the tut-tut-tut sound. Ck, thank you for rejecting my call, dad.
The clock is ticking, I glance at it.
Three o’clock in the afternoon.
Back with my cell phone, without thinks twice, I’m ordering an online vehicle to take me to my mom’s house which is not that far from my school.
I hope we can meet today.
I wanna meet her,
I miss her.
I am really happy when I see my mother smiling so happily.
Her beautiful face was covered with a thin powder that made her blush even more.
Unknowingly, I continued to watch her.
“Why are you come here?”
She asked when she realized I had been staring at her
“Uncle Ian said that i can come here anytime.”
I answered, glancing at my mother’s new husband, my stepfather, Ian.
“Babababa”
Tisha, my little sister from mama and Uncle Ian’s wedding, invited me to play. She is only ten months old, still a baby. Very funny, very cute. She’s adorable. I love her, she’s still my sister.
“What’s wrong with you!”
Mommy’s yelled from the kitchen after ten minutes left me alone with Tisha. I quietly lowered Tisha from my lap and then sneaked towards the direction of Mommy’s sound, i know this is a sin, but come on, I need to eavesdrop.
“I didn’t ask her to come here.”
said Uncle Ian to Mom.
Wait, what? Ah-oh, they’re talking about me.
“Why should she lie? Why she has to come. Nasya knows that she shouldn’t have to lie.”
Mom answered, hoarse.
Like so disappointed with my presence.
But actually, I was the one who was more disappointed. I don’t lie.
There is even evidence of a chat from Uncle Ian a few days ago, when I said I wanted to meet my mom.
Tears rolled down into my dry cheeks.
My blue and white uniform was already wet, without saying goodbye, I left their house and braved the rain that had been pouring down my town for some time.
At eight o’clock I looked into my father’s eyes. I am angry. I can’t fight my heart anymore.
“Yes, Dad. I know that now i’m not your priority anymore.”
I shouted, loudly. The sound of the rain almost drowned out my screams.
PLAK!
Daddy slapped my cheek.
It’s okay, i always be strong. But that pain won’t go away one day.
Maybe in this heart, forever.
“How dare you!”
Now my dad turned to yell at me. Of course louder, of course the tone is higher.
Even the rain couldn’t keep the sound from reaching my ears.
“It’s not your business with whom I go and take home! What’s your business when I arrives home? This is my home!!! It’s up to me what to do! Shit, you make me so angry. You are an asshole!”
He snapped, again. His big feet stepped closer to me. Now I feel smaller, I’m scared.
Maybe after this, not just a slap.
“Agh!”
I shouted, enduring the pain as his still-shod feet kicked me in the chest so hard that I fell down.
This nose feels cold, I rub my lentic fingers there. Blood.
I have a nosebleed.
“Uhh.”
Not just nosebleeds, oh my God, how strong was daddy’s kick me just now until my throat was feels like cut, coughing and bleeding.
“Watch your mouth and don’t talk to me!”
He threatened, as he walked away holding the bitch, who had been waiting all this time for how Dad abused me, again. The reason dad always looks at me with anger. Why does he hate me so much..
I hate my life.
Sometimes, I selfishly wonder why adults decide to get married when they end up hurting each other.
Mom and dad, they’re leaving each other.
I hope there’s still room for me. But unfortunately not.
Daddy loves his world.
When it was night in the city and he would return home with a scantily clad woman with a barely half-covered chest.
And every day is different.
Different night with different beautiful woman. Unfortunately, no one is as beautiful as mom.
Mom loves her world. Simple house and happy family. Mom, with her husband, and their child, Tisha. They always spend time together. Mom even displayed Tisha’s photo in every corner of her house. None of mine. Am i hoping too much? Even when visiting, my mom accused me of lying.
Who am I?
I still young, i just fifteenth. I need to go home. I need someone to talk to. I need my parents. I want to go home. But which house can I take refuge in?
I can’t fight them. I can’t kill either, I don’t dare.
But I sure do one thing. I am home.
‘Goodbye, Mommy and Daddy.. I am, home.’
I muttered before actually jumping off the third floor of dad’s big house.
That was once full of love.
Daddy, Mommy.
See you again,
……in hell later.
